PASSED!!

Dr YL passed!! He's euphoric, and I'm still shaking from the suspense and relief.

Now that we've successfully completed our official mission in London, we can channel all our attention and resources on our unofficial hedonistic mission in Europe!

Funniest woman in London

This is the last posting I'll make on this topic, because it's finally over!

Nope, I did not win the London Division Humourous Speech contest last night; I came in second. But the winner is a guy, and I am a gal. So that makes me the funniest woman in London :)

The best part is actually having half the room, if not more, many of whom are complete strangers, coming up to me, and effusively telling me what a great speech it was and how they enjoyed it. That almost makes up for not getting my hands on that trophy. At the risk of being labelled a sour grape, I thought that the winning speech had more laughs and the 5 judges' votes, but mine had more personality and the 80-odd audience' heart.

Aaa...this is a nice feather in the cap for my London TM career. Next up, Speech #10 and Competent Toastmaster!

Slide

There is a huge, steep slide at a playground on the way from the nursery to our house. When the weather is good, we will stop by for a few rounds. Here is YL, going down it with Sophie.

Mr & Mrs Potato Head

She decided to put on Mr. Potato Head's glasses ("goggles", as she calls them) and hat, and when asked, good-naturedly posed with Mr. Potato Head.

The winning speech

“Line up according to height!” I cringed whenever I hear my class monitor bark those orders during my school days. Inevitably I would find myself in front whilst all my classmates scurried behind me. These days, I get squashed in the lifts because people do not realize that there is a head bobbing about somewhere below their armpits. Items on the topmost shelves in the shops live only in my imagination. In short, I am short.

According to the NHS’ 2004 Health Survey, the average male in UK is 5’9” and the average female is 5’3”. I am obviously nowhere near that. But even in Asia, I am disadvantaged; according to the Chinese and Japanese governments’ figures, the average female in each country is a little over 5’. I would have gladly pranced around hot burning coals or sacrificed livestock if I were granted an extra one inch just to be able to declare myself a 5-footer.

Yes, it used to bother me that I’m short. For one, my teenage dreams in the 80’s of becoming a glamorous air stewardess traversing the skies in a uniform with killer shoulder pads, big hair and an inch thick makeup, will simply remain a dream. That I could speak 4 languages, was a qualified first-aider and my O levels results were so brilliant they could have blinded you in an instant did not matter because I did not meet the minimum height requirement. “It is necessary for cabin crew to be able to manage heavy items onto the overhead compartments easily,” they said. I say that if you decide to bring anvils and bricks along with you on your travels, then you jolly well put them up yourselves.

Secondly, I enjoyed a long and distinguished history of heroic sporting failure throughout my schooldays due to my stature. I accomplished what seemed like an impossible feat of achieving the grand total of zero points for every annual school sports day. “You need to jump further and higher”, my house captain told me. This refreshing, earth-shattering and strategic piece of advice inspired me to intensify my prayers for her to trip over her shoelaces during her races.

Regardless, that is all in the past now. I am now at peace with my physique, and have come to see the advantages of being tiny. I hurt less if I fall because I’m closer to the ground. I save money from buying clothes from the children’s section. Who needs real pockets? I’m eco-friendly because I take up less space. I win at Paintball games with my colleagues because I am small and can move fast and undetected while my 6-footer boss who can be spotted lumbering away in the far distance as inconspicuously as an elephant. In a rampage.

But to be honest, I’ve actually forgotten my obsession with height because I have been focusing on life itself, on my passions and the people around me. There is so much that I can see and do despite not being an air stewardess. I have earned a Masters degree in Business; I have ran my fingers across the cool bejeweled marble walls of the Taj Mahal; I have taught my 2-year old to give a mean shoulder massage. All these because I was not busy snubbing annoying passengers on a full flight somewhere up there in the skies. My life has been enriched because I enjoyed what I do, whether it was learning my fifth language, ballroom dancing, and competing in speech contests. They are fun, as much fun as as plucking your leg hair out one by one.

More importantly, I’ve been concentrating on being a loyal friend and a sincere colleague. Take it from me – it does not matter whether you are too big, too small, too tall (show off!). What matters is beyond the physical – your thoughts, your actions, your heart. Focus on getting those things right, and your life will be filled with love and genuine friendship, which should be the most important things in life. Others will see beyond your flared nose and your crooked toes. Oh by the way, if you are vertically challenged like me, being nice to the taller ones help you gain access to the mysteriously objects up there on the topmost shelves.

I won AGAIN!

YL can't believe it, and neither can I. But I have the plaque to show for it, so I guess it must be true :) I am now the Champion Humorous Speech Speaker for Area 31*!

Yes, I re-enacted my performance at my Toastmaster club's Humourous Speech contest at the Area contest yesterday, and somehow the judges found it entertaining enough to allow me to take home the honours. To be fair, I thought two of the contestants were really good and it was again to my utter disbelief when they announced my name as the winner. I thought, "Are you serious?!". I still have no idea what I did.

My club's officers are as happy as schoolboys because our club have swept up ALL the trophies from the Area - the Table Topics contest, the International Speech contest, the Speech Evaluation contest, and now the Humourous Speech contest. Phew! At least I didn't let them down.

So now YL is slotted for another babysitting call on 15 October, when I represent my Area at the Division contest which includes 5 Areas representing all clubs in London. The winner of that contest will go on to represent entire LONDON at the District 71 contest (UK & Ireland). If I get that far, I think I will be so far deep in incredulity and surreality that perhaps I am dreaming all these up...

* consisting of 5 clubs in Docklands and the City of London

Adventures in London & Paris with Yiyi

Changing of the Guards at Buckingham Palace in London

Escaping with her booty in Hamleys Toy Store in London

Escargot in Paris

Eiffel Tower, Paris

Last week has been a crazy hectic one traversing various parts of London and Paris with Sophie's Yiyi (Chinese for aunt) who is visiting us. Coupled with a horrendous streak of rainy and windy weather, it's a surprise that we are all still standing. I suppose it's an appropriate introduction to the freaky weather patterns - usually involving rain - of London and UK.

Yiyi and Sophie got along very well, so I'm sure Popo isn't going to be the only one with a broken heart when Yiyi & Popo board the plane back to KL tomorrow. There will also be a few sad faces at home, as YL and I will miss Popo's company (..and her cooking and cleaning and washing and etc etc).