What have I been up to?

Many friends I met recently, both online and off, asked how I have been holding up since coming back to London without Sophie. Well, I've been keeping myself busy as a distraction and as a way of reclaiming my freedom, both in equal measure. Have rejoined Toastmasters (finally!) and Latin dancing (finally!) and is also considering photography classes and Chinese martial arts and maybe even Spanish classes (in preparation for Andalucia in end March), not to mention that I've got to buck up on my Chinese astrology studies and get ready to welcome 3 sets of guests over the next 2 months (which means lots of serious cleaning around the house :P....)

It's strange, but some days, when browsing around in a shop or shoving my way into the Tube, I don't feel as if I'm a mother at all. I don't feel as if I've given birth, that I have a daughter, a real live moving human being who calls me (eventually) Mummy. YL feels the same.

It's almost we've traveled back in time and the heady events of the past year and a half hadn't taken place, and we are still the free and childless couple we were, chasing our dreams and charting our days as we wished. Sophie seemed like a vague memory of a faraway land and distant time, perhaps someone we've seen in a movie.

When we see her online or hear her babbling over the phone, we think to ourselves, "Is she really mine?". But for me, that's only a split second thought before the tears gush to the surface and I start sniffling like a child. I miss my Sophie!!